Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

Current Players  |  Selected Non-Current Players  |  Historical Numerical List

 

 

 

 

Current Player Profiles

(Updated to end of Season 2017)

 

 

*

 

 

“A”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#114

 

Lee Grant Ainsworth

 

Nickname:

Moaner,  Chunter

Birthplace:

n/a

Debut:

2011

Match:

220

DOB:

10 / 06 / 81

Height:

5’ 11”

Type:

LH bat,  Right-arm medium

#1 Single:

Adam & The Ants – “Stand and Deliver”

 

 

 

 

 

Cynical, downbeat and eternally grumpy, Lee finally made good on his word to leave his League frustrations behind and concentrate on winning The MAD POTS award for 2016. Technically gifted with bat and ball, despite being left handed, he plundered runs for fun when he wasn’t hitting full tosses straight to fielders. Allied to his wonderful cricketing nous, he is also supremely gifted in moaning. Scarcely a minute passes by without some barbed or disparaging remark concerning blinkered fielding positions or shitty bowling changes.

 

Despite such a rich cricketing pedigree and instant formal standing, it is perhaps reassuring that chinks in his professional veneer are often exposed on Tour. One delights in recalling his alcoholic corpse being peeled off a hotel floor, poured into some whites, before being sent out to register a duck among the regal settings of Pylewell Park.

 

With splendid averages to cap a splendid season, the cantankerous Mr Ainsworth boasts an often lofty Fantasy valuation. So will this marquee signing still represent a great investment in the coming year? He’s now a dad of course, and will the pressure of juggling an extended family with the team’s increasing expectations cripple him mentally both on and off the field? Hmm….

 

Lee is a left hander unfortunately and thus considered to be handicapped.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

25

19

5

439

31.36

64

429

102.33

47

9

-

1

-

35 ovs

16

14

4

495

49.50

72*

672

73.66

51

5

1

4

-

40 ovs

18

18

3

522

34.80

83

828

63.04

50

5

-

4

-

Timed

1

1

0

51

51.00

51

64

79.69

9

-

-

1

-

Other

3

3

1

62

31.00

53*

78

79.49

6

-

1

1

-

 

Totals

 

63

 

55

 

13

 

1569

 

37.36

 

83

 

2071

 

75.76

 

163

 

19

 

2

 

11

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

25

36

4

164

15

3-7

10.93

4.56

14.40

-

6

-

6

35 ovs

16

54.3

2

243

15

4-31

16.20

4.46

21.80

-

4

-

5

40 ovs

18

37

10

124

9

3-16

13.78

3.35

24.67

-

5

-

6

Timed

1

2.1

0

17

1

1-17

17.00

7.85

13.00

-

-

-

-

Other

3

12

0

48

5

4-27

9.60

4.00

14.40

-

2

-

2

 

Totals

 

42

 

89.4

 

11

 

357

 

30

 

4-27

 

11.90

 

3.98

 

17.93

 

0

 

17

 

0

 

19

 

 

 

 

 

“B”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#18

 

Matt Bullock

 

Nickname:

Warnie,  Beermatt

Birthplace:

Solihull, Warwickshire

Debut:

1998

Match:

004

DOB:

28 / 01 / 71

Height:

5’ 10”

Type:

Keeper,  RH bat,  Right-arm leg spin

#1 Single:

Clive Dunn – “Grandad”

 

 

 

 

 

Being the oldest serving member of the Far from the MCC, Matt’s seen the lot. As the years have ebbed by, he’s witnessed denims and doc martens replaced by whites and shiny spikes. He’s seen the club rise from the dead, move home, rebrand, move home and rebrand again. He’s experienced the tumultuous highs and the soul-destroying lows. He’s captained the team, toured all over the UK with the team and chaired two decades of AGM’s for the team. He’s filed the scorebooks, updated the records and written onto paper things ineffaceable. Moreover, Matt has had countless banter with nearly all of the 144 other lads and lasses who have at one time or another stood in a field with him on a Sunday or some dreamy summer evening. In short, Matthew is The MAD.

 

Intelligent, oracular and quick witted in equal measure, the team have always eschewed a more rounded and wholesome feel with his presence – especially at the bar. Much akin to a fine wine, the salient Matt Bullock has improved with age, with 2017 underscoring him as the club’s Most Improved Player. This wasn’t the result of a pissed vote at the AGM, it was based on hard fantasy (facts), and the fact he almost took as many wickets in one season than he had in the past nineteen. He can also boast achieving the pinnacle of Sunday Cricket by catching onetime ‘Wisden Cricketer of the Year’, former England opening bat Claire Taylor.

 

So, was 2017 the pinnacle of Matt’s cricketing career? Was it his Everest? Will his form and stock take a tumble in the coming season? And will not picking him cause the same headaches it caused for everyone absent of a Warnie in their team this year? Oh, this one is a right conundrum….

 

Matt is to beer what Beermatt.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

49

42

1

384

9.37

30

605

62.31

50

1

4

-

-

35 ovs

94

79

11

598

8.79

35

1277

44.71

55

-

14

-

-

40 ovs

54

45

8

396

10.70

31

738

50.81

46

1

6

-

-

Timed

8

8

2

81

13.50

41*

83

56.63

6

-

1

-

-

Other

18

16

3

126

9.69

39

173

63.01

13

-

6

-

-

 

Totals

 

223

 

190

 

25

 

1585

 

9.61

 

41*

 

2876

 

50.25

 

170

 

2

 

31

 

-

 

-

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

49

22.2

0

156

9

2-14

17.33

6.99

14.89

-

6

3

4

35 ovs

94

34

1

221

13

3-12

17.00

6.50

15.69

-

40

15

3

40 ovs

54

11.3

0

76

3

2-27

25.33

6.61

23.00

-

20

3

2

Timed

8

1

0

10

1

1-10

10.00

10.00

6.00

-

3

-

-

Other

18

11.5

0

50

3

3-22

16.67

4.23

23.67

-

5

3

-

 

Totals

 

223

 

80.4

 

1

 

513

 

29

 

3-12

 

17.69

 

6.36

 

16.69

 

-

 

74

 

24

 

9

 

 

 

 

 

“C”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#89

 

Geoff Carter

 

Nickname:

Wood Boy,  George or any Christian name beginning with ‘G’.

Birthplace:

Oxford

Debut:

2005

Match:

109

DOB:

01 / 05 / 60

Height:

6’ 0”

Type:

Keeper,  RH bat,  Right-arm lobbers

#1 Single:

Anthony Newley – “Do You Mind”

 

 

Player_Geoff_450x400_a2

 

 

 

Quirky, affable, jocular and increasingly schizophrenic, Geoff has been in and around the team’s edges for over a decade, and is now regarded as a MAD institution. A carpenter by trade, he enjoys splitting his time between wood, boozing and living the life of a maverick sailor on the Oxford canals. When he’s not busy with oak, real ale or split personalities, he’s busy trying to locate his latest van and motorbike which are regularly stolen by Pikey’s and rammed through the pavilion at Enstone CC.

 

A celebrated opener and tailender, Geoff knows no other positions in the batting order other than #1 and #11. Rumoured to occasionally play a shot, he crushes the opposition under a tidal wave of boredom, often mimicking a man with a guide dog out in the middle. He can also keep wicket or at least he can stand behind the stumps with some pads on.

 

The risible Geoff could represent the best Fantasy Cricket value going – especially considering you get at least FIVE mentally challenged Geoff’s for the price of one. A bargain too good to refuse? Very possibly, but then that’s FIVE times the schizophrenic risk. Hmm….

 

Geoff once took a wicket.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

34

24

3

103

4.90

13

212

48.58

10

-

6

-

-

35 ovs

33

31

2

220

7.59

28

566

38.87

25

-

5

-

-

40 ovs

36

32

4

376

13.43

39

945

39.79

42

-

5

-

-

Timed

1

1

0

1

1.00

1

20

5.00

-

-

-

-

-

Other

4

3

0

6

2.00

5

29

20.69

-

-

1

-

-

 

Totals

 

108

 

91

 

9

 

706

 

8.61

 

39

 

1772

 

39.84

 

77

 

0

 

17

 

0

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

34

8

0

69

1

1-25

69.00

8.63

48.00

-

6

1

7

35 ovs

33

3

0

30

0

0-9

-

10.00

-

-

6

2

3

40 ovs

36

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

5

3

Timed

1

0

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Other

4

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

-

2

 

Totals

 

108

 

11.0

 

0

 

99

 

1

 

1-25

 

99.00

 

9.00

 

66.00

 

-

 

20

 

8

 

15

 

 

 

 

 

“D”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#98

 

Andrew Darley

 

Nickname:

Del Boy,  Salvador,  Butthead

Birthplace:

Oxford

Debut:

2005

Match:

152

DOB:

04 / 02 / 75

Height:

6’ 3”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium fast

#1 Single:

Pilot – “January”

 

 

 

 

 

Enigmatic and gregariously upbeat, Andrew is one of those bubbly, larger-than-life characters who just begs your attention. Smashing stumps with 100mph bowling or hitting sixes into adjoining solar systems, it’s all about IMPACT and SENSATIONALISM. Well, it is occasionally... when he isn’t falling over his own stumps or tiptoeing precariously around the precipice of mental oblivion.

 

Generous and eternally exuberant about everything and anything, it’s just a shame he isn’t more enthusiastic about playing cricket for The MAD. Boasting one of the meanest bowling economies this club has ever known, it would seem perversely equivalent to his number of match played….

 

As in previous years, Mr Darley will no doubt become an enticing Fantasy acquisition as he turns up to every net session, bowls with vim and vigour and smashes everyone’s bowling into Swindon. Voices will no doubt be heard discussing how “this could be his year – I know he’s a wholly unreliable fuck, but….” So do you? Don’t you? Do you? Don’t you? He could just well be the greatest Fantasy bargain in MAD history. Once again. But then hasn’t that been the mantra for what seems like forever…?

 

Darley has more cricketing demons than Marcus Trescothick and Jonathan Trott put together.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

5

3

0

20

6.67

19

28

71.43

1

1

1

-

-

35 ovs

16

14

1

104

8.00

20

123

84.55

14

3

3

-

-

40 ovs

23

18

2

202

12.63

52

253

79.84

22

4

2

1

-

Timed

2

2

0

0

0.00

0

3

0.00

-

-

2

-

-

Other

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Totals

 

46

 

37

 

3

 

326

 

9.59

 

52

 

407

 

80.10

 

37

 

8

 

8

 

1

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

5

12

2

55

2

2-18

27.50

4.58

36.00

-

1

-

1

35 ovs

16

100.5

8

381

15

3-19

25.40

3.78

40.33

-

5

-

-

40 ovs

23

142.1

20

506

15

4-20

33.73

3.56

56.87

-

2

-

-

Timed

2

11

0

44

2

1-9

22.00

4.00

33.00

-

-

-

-

Other

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Totals

 

46

 

266.0

 

30

 

986

 

34

 

4-20

 

29.00

 

3.71

 

46.94

 

-

 

9

 

0

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#56

 

Steve Leslie Peter Dobner

 

Nickname:

Twinkle,  Easy Tiger,  Stevie D

Birthplace:

Essex

Debut:

2001

Match:

056

DOB:

11 / 03 / 74

Height:

5’ 11”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium

#1 Single:

Alvin Stardust – “Jealous Mind”

 

 

 

 

 

Every club has one – a genocidal, human hand grenade. Since his debut well over a decade ago, the portentous Mr Dobner has managed to have a go at everything and everybody in that time, including himself. However, advancing years and family life have mellowed the inner anger, a cynical and sarcastic mouth replacing the fists and vitriol. Twinkle now finds regular pleasure in his foldback chair, watching with delight as his two girls punch his teammates in the scrotum and smack cricket bats around their heads. They say fruit never falls far from the tree.

 

Despite his continued existence bullying kids at school in the Land of the White Stiletto, Steve still finds an excuse to travel to Oxford and dish out homebrewed scrumpy and sarcastic putdowns. The cider is excellent, the sardonic rapport infectious, but his cricket is shit. Where once he could lay claim to being the club’s premier all-rounder, now we wonder if he’s wearing the right glasses.

 

So is he worth a punt in the Fantasy Cricket? Well, as Yasmin M. Evans would serenade you, “The Only Way Is Up” – and she’s a barrow girl, so she should know. Or are the rigours of growing useless old now so advanced as to be utterly irreversible? He won’t play many, but Dobbers will be cheap, and… hmm.

 

Steve’s homebrew is mixed with his own DNA and leads to swearing and violence.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

11

11

3

175

21.87

50*

192

91.14

16

1

2

1

-

35 ovs

76

69

8

745

12.21

84

1453

51.27

80

1

10

2

-

40 ovs

79

74

13

1116

18.30

77*

1972

56.59

118

2

9

2

-

Timed

8

7

1

48

8.00

30*

127

37.80

5

-

-

-

-

Other

10

9

1

97

12.13

35

143

67.83

11

-

2

-

-

 

Totals

 

184

 

170

 

26

 

2181

 

15.15

 

84

 

3887

 

56.11

 

230

 

4

 

23

 

5

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

11

18

0

101

2

1-9

50.50

5.61

54.00

-

-

-

-

35 ovs

76

254.4

16

1090

50

4-32

21.80

4.28

30.56

-

21

2

6

40 ovs

79

259

24

1025

54

4-9

18.98

3.96

28.78

-

17

4

6

Timed

8

39.4

4

171

8

2-27

21.38

4.31

29.75

-

1

-

1

Other

11

31

1

159

11

4-17

14.45

5.13

16.91

-

1

-

2

 

Totals

 

183

 

602.2

 

45

 

2546

 

125

 

4-9

 

20.37

 

4.23

 

28.91

 

-

 

40

 

6

 

15

 

 

 

 

 

“E”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#105

 

David (not Dave) Emerson

 

Nickname:

Wonky,  Diamond

Birthplace:

Invercargill, Wellington. NZ

Debut:

2008

Match:

167

DOB:

09 / 04 / 76

Height:

6’ 2”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium

#1 Single:

Brotherhood of Man – “Save Your Kisses For Me”

 

 

 

 

 

Engaging, knowledgeable, flawed and talented in equal measure, Kiwi Dave joined the FFTMCC back in the late noughties, juggling permanent intoxication with a rash of ducks and a swathe of match winning bowling performances. The thing is, he was actually a batsman, he always was, but nobody ever asked him. The Club had a paucity of decent bowlers back in the day, and as everyone knew – all cricketers who had played for the OU Offices were actually bowlers who said they could bat, but couldn’t. Henceforth, Dave had to be a bowler. Sorry about that ole boy.

 

On Tour to Pompey in 2011, Mr Emerson would smash 95 whilst giving a big FUCK OFF to his batting critics. Shit, maybe this guy could actually bat?! Back-to-back POTS soon followed, before his body eventually, nay inevitably, collapsed under the strain. Of course it was all Skipper Westmoreland’s fault, flogging him like some unloved Muriwai Beach horse – or at least that was his agent’s mantra….

 

Time is the greatest healer and in the intervening years, David has had remedial work with Thai masseurs, seen the Club psychiatrist and patched himself up with support tape. He’s also decried bowling off any more than two paces and demanded to bat where he wants. In fact, he plays when he wants too, which might have serious implications for his Fantasy valuation? A fading star? A resurgent star? Will he Tour ever again? Hmm….

 

David scores less Fantasy points than Nick Hill.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

52

44

7

646

17.46

36*

548

117.88

78

4

3

-

-

35 ovs

33

29

3

325

12.50

34*

423

76.83

33

1

6

-

-

40 ovs

76

62

8

818

15.15

95

899

90.99

116

4

11

2

-

Timed

4

3

2

20

20.00

14*

30

66.67

4

-

-

-

-

Other

3

3

0

39

13.00

24

35

111.43

3

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

168

 

141

 

20

 

1848

 

15.27

 

95

 

1935

 

95.50

 

234

 

9

 

20

 

2

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

52

103.1

8

519

30

3-20

17.30

5.03

20.63

-

8

-

2

35 ovs

33

136.4

24

542

15

2-14

36.13

3.97

54.67

-

14

-

2

40 ovs

76

456.5

75

1642

89

5-25

18.45

3.59

30.80

2

14

1

1

Timed

4

34

4

121

5

2-17

24.20

3.56

40.80

-

-

-

-

Other

3

4

0

21

0

0-21

-

5.25

-

-

1

-

-

 

Totals

 

168

 

734.4

 

111

 

2845

 

139

 

5-25

 

20.47

 

3.87

 

31.71

 

2

 

37

 

1

 

5

 

 

 

 

 

“H”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#50

 

Richard John Bingham Hadfield

 

Nickname:

Lord Lucan

Birthplace:

Balham, London

Debut:

2000

Match:

033

DOB:

01 / 07 / 70

Height:

5’ 8 & 1/2”

Type:

RH bat

#1 Single:

Mungo Jerry – “In The Summertime”

 

 

 

 

 

Whimsical, intelligent, mysterious and purely fictional, the enchanting Mr R. J. B. Hadfield doesn’t really exist. Someone assuming that preposterous name at the turn of the Millennium notched 72 runs on debut, but vanished soon after. Almost forgotten, another chap purporting to be him finally returned for a duck six years later. Since that day, it seems almost fashionable for vertically challenged, bespectacled cricketers with no real club or association to play under the name of Hadfield when the FFTMCC are short.

 

These assortments of charismatic, scholarly characters have all proved likeably witty over the years, just a shame none of them have ever really integrated. However, for the eagle-eyed, they do occasionally turn up at the odd AGM to chin a few ales and make hollow boasts about getting more involved. That said, the last guest Hadfield had the audacity and sheer front to try recruiting for the Bodleian….

 

Whilst guest appearances by a Hadfield are fleeting in nature, the overall average and talent of those playing under the name remain a constant. Last year’s stand-in scored a season high 88 and kept the Hadfield average above the 50 mark, but like all the other guys, simply disappeared without trace. You can invest Fantasy lira in the name, but must be confident that someone will guest under it. If so, you may get good value.

 

Someone called Richard claims he never murdered his children’s nanny and is not a figment of the imagination.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

18

18

9

382

42.44

39*

368

103.80

41

2

-

-

-

35 ovs

12

11

1

334

33.40

88

468

71.37

43

-

-

2

-

40 ovs

14

14

2

292

24.33

65*

415

70.36

36

2

3

1

-

Timed

2

2

0

18

9.00

11

36

50.00

3

-

-

-

-

Other

2

2

0

11

5.50

10

21

52.38

2

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

48

 

47

 

12

 

1037

 

29.63

 

88

 

1428

 

72.62

 

125