Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

Current Players  |  Selected Non-Current Players  |  Historical Numerical List

 

 

 

 

Current Player Profiles

(Updated to end of Season 2018)

 

 

*

 

 

“A”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#114

 

Lee Grant Ainsworth

 

Nickname:

Moaner,  Chunter

Birthplace:

n/a

Debut:

2011

Match:

220

DOB:

10 / 06 / 81

Height:

5’ 11”

Type:

LH bat,  Right-arm medium

#1 Single:

Adam & The Ants – “Stand and Deliver”

 

 

 

 

 

Cynical, downbeat and eternally grumpy, Lee finally made good on his word to leave his League frustrations behind and concentrate on winning The MAD POTS award for 2016. Technically gifted with bat and ball, despite being left handed, he plundered runs for fun when he wasn’t hitting full tosses straight to fielders. Allied to his wonderful cricketing nous, he is also supremely gifted in moaning. Scarcely a minute passes by without some barbed or disparaging remark concerning blinkered fielding positions or shitty bowling changes.

 

Despite such a rich cricketing pedigree and instant formal standing, it is perhaps reassuring that chinks in his professional veneer are often exposed on Tour. One delights in recalling his alcoholic corpse being peeled off a hotel floor, poured into some whites, before being sent out to register a duck among the regal settings of Pylewell Park.

 

Sadly, Mr Ainsworth was unavailable for season 2018 and appearances may well be at a premium this one. What is guaranteed, is that if he does return to a very warm embrace, his fleeting efforts on the field will probably supersede a year’s worth of rubbish from other members of the team.

 

Lee is a left hander unfortunately and thus considered to be handicapped.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

25

19

5

439

31.36

64

429

102.33

47

9

-

1

-

35 ovs

16

14

4

495

49.50

72*

672

73.66

51

5

1

4

-

40 ovs

18

18

3

522

34.80

83

828

63.04

50

5

-

4

-

Timed

1

1

0

51

51.00

51

64

79.69

9

-

-

1

-

Other

3

3

1

62

31.00

53*

78

79.49

6

-

1

1

-

 

Totals

 

63

 

55

 

13

 

1569

 

37.36

 

83

 

2071

 

75.76

 

163

 

19

 

2

 

11

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

25

36

4

164

15

3-7

10.93

4.56

14.40

-

6

-

6

35 ovs

16

54.3

2

243

15

4-31

16.20

4.46

21.80

-

4

-

5

40 ovs

18

37

10

124

9

3-16

13.78

3.35

24.67

-

5

-

6

Timed

1

2.1

0

17

1

1-17

17.00

7.85

13.00

-

-

-

-

Other

3

12

0

48

5

4-27

9.60

4.00

14.40

-

2

-

2

 

Totals

 

42

 

89.4

 

11

 

357

 

30

 

4-27

 

11.90

 

3.98

 

17.93

 

0

 

17

 

0

 

19

 

 

 

 

 

“B”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#18

 

Matt Bullock

 

Nickname:

Warnie,  Beermatt

Birthplace:

Solihull, Warwickshire

Debut:

1998

Match:

004

DOB:

28 / 01 / 71

Height:

5’ 10”

Type:

Keeper,  RH bat,  Right-arm leg spin

#1 Single:

Clive Dunn – “Grandad”

 

 

 

 

 

Being the oldest serving member of the Far from the MCC, Matt’s seen the lot. As the years have ebbed by, he’s witnessed denims and doc martens replaced by whites and shiny spikes. He’s seen the club rise from the dead, move home, rebrand, move home and rebrand again. He’s experienced the tumultuous highs and the soul-destroying lows. He’s captained the team, toured all over the UK with the team and chaired two decades of AGM’s for the team. He’s filed the scorebooks, updated the records and written onto paper things ineffaceable. Moreover, Matt has had countless banter with nearly all of the 144 other lads and lasses who have at one time or another stood in a field with him on a Sunday or some dreamy summer evening. In short, Matthew is The MAD.

 

Intelligent, oracular and quick witted in equal measure, the team have always eschewed a more rounded and wholesome feel with his presence – especially at the bar. Much akin to a fine wine, the salient Matt Bullock has improved with age, with 2017 underscoring him as the club’s Most Improved Player. This wasn’t the result of a pissed vote at the AGM, it was based on hard fantasy (facts), and the gospel he almost took as many wickets in one season than he had in the past nineteen. He can also boast achieving the pinnacle of Sunday Cricket by catching onetime ‘Wisden Cricketer of the Year’, former England opening bat Claire Taylor.

 

After 2017’s rise to prominence, Matt didn’t quite kick-on 2018, choosing instead to loiter with a few other underachieving passengers in the team. The result of which might flag up a very enticing Fantasy valuation for 2019. He keeps, be bats and he’s always likely to snare the bashers with his leg spin. Hmm….

 

Matt is to beer what Beermatt.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

55

48

1

418

8.89

30

663

63.05

55

1

5

-

-

35 ovs

96

81

12

618

8.96

35

1324

46.68

57

-

14

-

-

40 ovs

54

45

8

396

10.70

31

738

53.66

46

1

6

-

-

Timed

8

8

2

81

13.50

41*

83

97.59

6

-

1

-

-

Other

19

16

3

126

9.69

39

173

72.83

13

-

6

-

-

 

Totals

 

231

 

198

 

26

 

1639

 

9.53

 

41*

 

2981

 

54.98

 

177

 

2

 

32

 

0

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

55

26.2

0

209

9

2-14

23.22

7.94

17.56

-

6

3

5

35 ovs

96

38

1

247

13

3-12

19.00

6.50

17.54

-

41

15

3

40 ovs

54

11.3

0

76

3

2-27

25.33

6.61

23.00

-

20

3

2

Timed

8

1

0

10

1

1-10

10.00

10.00

6.00

-

3

-

-

Other

19

11.5

0

50

3

3-22

16.67

4.23

23.67

-

5

3

-

 

Totals

 

231

 

88.4

 

1

 

592

 

29

 

3-12

 

20.41

 

6.68

 

18.34

 

0

 

75

 

24

 

10

 

 

 

 

 

“C”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#89

 

Geoff Carter

 

Nickname:

Wood Boy,  George or any Christian name beginning with ‘G’.

Birthplace:

Oxford

Debut:

2005

Match:

109

DOB:

01 / 05 / 60

Height:

6’ 0”

Type:

Keeper,  RH bat,  Right-arm lobbers

#1 Single:

Anthony Newley – “Do You Mind”

 

 

Player_Geoff_450x400_a2

 

 

 

Quirky, affable, jocular and increasingly schizophrenic, Geoff has been in and around the team’s edges for over a decade, and is now regarded as a MAD institution. A carpenter by trade, he enjoys splitting his time between wood, boozing and living the life of a maverick sailor on the Oxford canals. When he’s not busy with oak, real ale or split personalities, he’s busy trying to locate his latest van and motorbike which are regularly stolen by Pikey’s and rammed through the pavilion at Enstone CC.

 

A celebrated opener and tailender, Geoff knows no other positions in the batting order other than #1 and #11. Rumoured to occasionally play a shot, he crushes the opposition under a tidal wave of boredom, often mimicking a man with a guide dog out in the middle. He can also keep wicket or at least he can stand behind the stumps with some pads on.

 

One of two dozen players who all confess to be the club’s finest wicketkeeper, Geoff can be relied on for being one of them. So, this attribute combined with being the greatest player to bat at both ends of the batting spectrum makes for an intriguing Fantasy valuation. Of course, this could blow up quicker than a trip to Syria, but you might just fancy a punt…?

 

Geoff once took a wicket.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

40

27

5

115

5.23

13

235

48.94

13

-

6

-

-

35 ovs

38

34

2

254

7.94

28

646

39.32

30

-

5

-

-

40 ovs

37

33

4

379

13.07

39

959

39.52

42

-

5

-

-

Timed

1

1

0

1

1.00

1

20

5.00

-

-

-

-

-

Other

5

4

0

6

1.50

5

33

18.18

-

-

2

-

-

 

Totals

 

121

 

99

 

11

 

755

 

8.58

 

39

 

1893

 

39.88

 

85

 

0

 

18

 

0

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

40

8

0

69

1

1-25

69.00

8.63

48.00

-

6

1

7

35 ovs

38

3

0

30

0

0-9

-

10.00

-

-

6

2

4

40 ovs

37

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

5

3

Timed

1

0

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Other

5

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

-

2

 

Totals

 

121

 

11.0

 

0

 

99

 

1

 

1-25

 

99.00

 

9.00

 

66.00

 

0

 

20

 

8

 

16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#146

 

Joseph Albert Cartwright

 

Nickname:

Old Joe

Birthplace:

Cardiff

Debut:

2018

Match:

450

DOB:

06 / 02 / 59

Height:

5’ 9” (ish)

Type:

RH bat

#1 Single:

The Platters – “Some  Gets in Your Eyes”

 

 

 

 

 

Understated, sage like and engaging, Joe would only sign up to the club on the condition his dog was allowed to crap in everyone’s kitbag and urinate over Giant Duck. He made his debut in 2018 after turning up to a pub dressed in whites, yet it feels like he’s been around forever, so maybe he has been, and nobody really noticed.

 

A product of The MAD’s burgeoning Youth Academy, the sprightly Joseph has already proven his quality with the blade, looking overtly studious before unfurling straight drives over the bowler’s head to leave his audience agog. He’s definitely played before as he exudes an aura at the crease akin to someone who has definitely played before.

 

One of a clutch of new faces in 2018, Joe’s Fantasy valuation is hard to quantify, although he’ll definitely merit a valuation to match someone who has definitely played before. So, will you take a random punt on the wily young Joe? Perhaps, and perhaps he’ll stay match fit beyond the first few overs as a result of his wintering press-up routines.

 

Joe once completed an innings without incurring an injury.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

4

4

2

34

17.00

30*

43

79.07

4

-

1

-

-

35 ovs

3

3

1

53

26.50

26

124

42.74

6

-

-

-

-

40 ovs

1

1

-

2

2.00

2

8

25.00

0

-

-

-

-

Timed

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other

1

1

3

27

27.00

27

34

79.41

3

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

9

 

9

 

3

 

116

 

19.33

 

30*

 

209

 

55.50

 

13

 

0

 

1

 

0

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

4

2

0

7

0

0-7

-

3.50

-

-

-

-

-

35 ovs

3

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

40 ovs

1

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Timed

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other

1

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

 

Totals

 

9

 

2.0

 

0

 

7

 

0

 

0-7

 

-

 

3.50

 

-

 

0

 

0

 

0

 

0

 

 

 

 

 

“D”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#98

 

Andrew Darley

 

Nickname:

Del Boy,  Salvador,  Butthead,  Mo

Birthplace:

Oxford

Debut:

2005

Match:

152

DOB:

04 / 02 / 75

Height:

6’ 3”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium fast

#1 Single:

Pilot – “January”

 

 

 

 

 

Enigmatic and gregariously upbeat, Andrew is one of those bubbly, larger-than-life characters who just begs your attention. Smashing stumps with 100mph bowling or hitting sixes into adjoining solar systems, it’s all about IMPACT and SENSATIONALISM. Well, it is occasionally... when he isn’t falling over his own stumps or tiptoeing precariously around the precipice of mental oblivion.

 

Generous and eternally exuberant about everything and anything, it’s just a shame he isn’t more enthusiastic about playing cricket for The MAD. Boasting one of the meanest bowling economies this club has ever known, it would seem perversely equivalent to his number of matches he has played….

 

As in previous years, Mr Darley will no doubt become an enticing Fantasy acquisition, particularly now he seems to be playing some cricket. He’s also playing some good cricket too, especially when he doesn’t spray it down leg or fall over his stumps when batting.

 

Darley has more cricketing demons than Marcus Trescothick and Jonathan Trott put together.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

8

6

0

48

8.00

28

58

82.76

5

2

3

-

-

35 ovs

22

18

2

133

8.31

20

162

82.10

17

3

3

-

-

40 ovs

26

20

2

222

12.33

52

277

80.14

24

5

2

1

-

Timed

2

2

0

0

0.00

0

3

0.00

-

-

2

-

-

Other

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Totals

 

58

 

46

 

4

 

403

 

9.60

 

52

 

500

 

80.60

 

46

 

10

 

10

 

1

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

8

18

2

100

4

2-18

25.00

5.56

27.00

-

3

-

1

35 ovs

22

129.5

9

515

20

3-19

25.75

3.97

38.95

-

7

-

-

40 ovs

26

161.3

24

584

20

4-20

29.20

3.62

48.45

-

3

-

-

Timed

2

11

0

44

2

1-9

22.00

4.00

33.00

-

-

-

-

Other

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Totals

 

58

 

320.2

 

35

 

1243

 

34

 

4-20

 

27.02

 

3.88

 

41.78

 

-

 

13

 

0

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#56

 

Steve Leslie Peter Dobner

 

Nickname:

Twinkle,  Easy Tiger,  Stevie D,  Dobbers

Birthplace:

Essex

Debut:

2001

Match:

056

DOB:

11 / 03 / 74

Height:

5’ 11”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium

#1 Single:

Alvin Stardust – “Jealous Mind”

 

 

 

 

 

Every club has one – a genocidal, human hand grenade. Since his debut well over a decade ago, the portentous Mr Dobner has managed to have a go at everything and everybody in that time, including himself. However, advancing years and family life have mellowed the inner anger, a cynical and sarcastic mouth replacing the fists and vitriol. Twinkle now finds regular pleasure in his foldback chair, watching with delight as his two girls punch his teammates in the scrotum and smack cricket bats around their heads. They say fruit never falls far from the tree.

 

Despite his continued existence bullying kids at school in the Land of the White Stiletto, Steve still finds an excuse to travel to Oxford and dish out homebrewed scrumpy and sarcastic putdowns. The cider is excellent, the sardonic rapport infectious, but his cricket is shit. Where once he could lay claim to being the club’s premier all-rounder, now we wonder if he’s wearing the right glasses.

 

Steve didn’t show up in 2018 and rumour is he’s gone down after slaughtering his neighbours with a meat cleaver for blocking his driveway. He may well have been available for the odd match, maybe not, but either way it depends on who you believe, or don’t. Will he pull on The MAD whites in 2019 and will he represent a cunning Fantasy investment? It all depends on him getting out of Wormwood Scrubs firstly.

 

Steve once refused a fight (allegedly).

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

11

11

3

175

21.88

50*

192

91.14

16

1

2

1

-

35 ovs

76

69

8

745

12.21

84

1453

51.27

82

1

10

2

-

40 ovs

79

74

13

1116

18.30

77*

1972

56.59

118

2

9

2

-

Timed

8

7

1

48

8.00

30*

127

37.80

5

-

-

-

-

Other

10

9

1

97

12.13

35

143

67.83

11

-

2

-

-

 

Totals

 

184

 

170

 

26

 

2181

 

15.15

 

84

 

3887

 

56.11

 

232

 

4

 

23

 

5

 

0

 

Bowling

 

M

O

M

R

W

Best

Avg

Econ

SR

5wi

Ct

St

RO

T20

11

18

0

101

2

1-9

50.50

5.61

54.00

-

-

-

-

35 ovs

76

254.4

16

1106

50

4-32

22.12

4.33

30.68

-

21

2

6

40 ovs

79

259

24

1025

54

4-9

18.98

3.96

28.78

-

17

4

6

Timed

8

39.4

4

171

8

2-27

21.38

4.31

29.75

-

1

-

1

Other

10

31

1

159

11

4-17

14.45

5.13

16.91

-

1

-

2

 

Totals

 

184

 

603.2

 

45

 

2562

 

125

 

4-9

 

20.50

 

4.25

 

28.96

 

-

 

40

 

6

 

15

 

 

 

 

 

“E”

A  |  B  |  C  |  D  |  E  |  H  |  J  |  L  |  M  |  N  |  P  |  R  |  S  |  T  |  V  |  W

 

 

 

 

 

 

#105

 

David (not Dave) Emerson

 

Nickname:

Wonky,  Diamond,  Emo

Birthplace:

Invercargill, Wellington. NZ

Debut:

2008

Match:

167

DOB:

09 / 04 / 76

Height:

6’ 2”

Type:

RH bat,  Right-arm medium

#1 Single:

Brotherhood of Man – “Save Your Kisses For Me”

 

 

 

 

 

Engaging, knowledgeable, flawed and talented in equal measure, Kiwi Dave joined the FFTMCC back in the late noughties, juggling permanent intoxication with a rash of ducks and a swathe of match winning bowling performances. The thing is, he was actually a batsman, he always was, but nobody ever asked him. The Club had a paucity of decent bowlers back in the day, and as everyone knew – all cricketers who had played for the OU Offices were actually bowlers who said they could bat, but couldn’t. Henceforth, Dave had to be a bowler. Sorry about that ole boy.

 

On Tour to Pompey in 2011, Mr Emerson would smash 95 whilst giving a big FUCK OFF to his batting critics. Shit, maybe this guy could actually bat?! Back-to-back POTS soon followed, before his body eventually, nay inevitably, collapsed under the strain. Of course it was all Skipper Westmoreland’s fault, flogging him like some unloved Muriwai Beach horse – or at least that was his agent’s mantra….

 

After years of self-pity and hypochondria, David finally showed up in 2018 and played some cricket. Such was his transformation from a serially underperforming cripple to a rebirth of cricketing panache, he scooped the Most Improved trophy at the AGM. Scandalous really. So, will 2019 see his star rise further or will he once again relax back into his striped deckchair complaining about his little finger? Hmm…. 

 

David is very sedate when watching the All Blacks play England at rugby.

 

 

 

 

Batting

 

M

I

NO

R

Avg

HS

BF

SR

4

6

0

50

100

T20

59

51

10

787

19.20

44*

650

121.08

96

4

3

-

-

35 ovs

36

32

3

359

12.38

34*

473

75.90

35

1

6

-

-

40 ovs

79

64

8

838

14.96

95

920

91.09

120

4

11