Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

“MAD Quite Crap Really

 

 

Match:  19 / 491

Lost by 96 runs

 

 

Team

 

Total

Lemmings

226 - 4

G. Timms  2 - 26

 

FFTMCC

131

M. Reeves  45,  D. Shorten  24

 

 

 

 

With the bunting taken down and debris from the street party swept into bins, it was a given that the following season’s match against the Lemmings would revert to type. You know, the former graduate’s bat first, pile up 200 plus in the sun and then watch a hapless MAD batting display under predictable clouds….

 

 

A couple of people that are standing in the grass

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Piemen J. Baker and T. Baker and centurion S. Wood.

 

 

An always enjoyable fixture in the calendar, this particular rivalry dates back eighteen years ago to the turn of the new millennium in a game where Lemmings J. Greany and M. L. Baker guested and scored most of The MAD’s runs before losing to themselves. They bolstered a then Jude Obscure team of six irregulars procured from the pub the night before. Of those six unfortunates, Chairman Bullock and Mr Hotson still survive, although neither will probably remember or care to remember that day. If they do, Matt might remember holding up one end for 17 not out and Jake might remember sawing him off by getting caught for 3.

 

Everyone looks older now, considerably. There is a swell to the gut and a world-weary look to the eye. Saying that, there was probably a fair amount of gut back then courtesy of the pub. And probably most the guys looked weary too on account of being out on the piss all night.

 

Losing the toss with aplomb, Skipper Timms relayed the information to his team that they would chasing leather all afternoon. How much leather was hard to define, but a quick stocktake on the Lemmings batting order would indicate the figure to be quite substantial. We were not to be disappointed, however there was disappointment that we didn’t get the chance to see Samantha Claire Taylor MBE in full flight, the ex-England Ladies top order bat caught Newman-Robson off some shit down leg b Timms 2. And therein lies the problem – at international level you don’t experience a great deal of shit down leg, especially the kind of shit that doesn’t bounce. Poor Claire. If you make the trip next year young lady, bear this village cricket anomaly in mind.

 

So… just for Gareth’s scrapbook:

 

2.  S. C. Taylor MBE  c  Newman-Robson  b  Timms  2

 

 

 

A flyer from CWCIXX displayed on July 14.

 

 

…and lest the reality of the dismissal become clouded in myth, it was a shit ball top-edged by a lady who probably spent the rest of the day smarting behind the stumps in a wholly dignified manner as one would expect from someone with her sporting standing.

 

The next wicket was a long time in coming as Matt Baker (71) upped his average against The MAD beyond six thousand with a typically muscular innings, aided and abetted by the dude (Simon Wood) who failed to materialise last year and was culpable for their humbling defeat that nobody mentions. Together they added 133 before Simon took on the baton to register a well-deserved 103 not out. An innings all the more special for bothering to turn out, and also due to his claim to have not batted since he was at grammar school.

 

A final total of 226-4 saw the tonking shared out amongst the bowlers with Timms (5-1-26-2) the most outstandish for his egotistical decision to open with himself and fully justify his ego. So well done him.

 

 

A group of people that are standing in the grass

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Hukins bowling to B. Walker.

 

 

Kate Reeves did herself proud at the tea interval for allowing her husband to take the plaudits and everyone had a jolly nice time talking about days of yore and the two sitters that Corne Vermaak dropped which cost about 150 runs. Incidentally, our genial Saffer has made the smart decision to wear these particularly revelatory sunglasses which turns day into night time. Genius.

 

Rolling back the years, Emerson (14) and Howarth (10) fronted The MAD reply and gave hope where that wasn’t any over the course of the first four overs. Then it was pretty shit really. Shorten (24) clubbed some pie of old man Tom Baker (7-0-45-3) whilst the rest of the guys who walked out with a bat should perhaps consider another sporting pursuit (Williams 1, Walker 3, Turner 0, Timms 2, Newman 1 and Rundle 4). This rash of turd contained a run out fit for a Broadway re-enactment and a caught and bowled choreographed at a special school.

 

 

A group of baseball players standing on top of a grass covered field

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Claire (keeping) watches Shorten trying to skewer a low flying duck.

 

 

Of course, this report would hardly have merited more than a paragraph of deadpan gloom if it weren’t the final eight overs of The MAD innings. This was a passage of play that so enriched the day to remind everyone why we continue to play year after year despite the majority of days being deeply dispiriting let-downs of personal underachievement.

 

Whacking anything on a length and off a length, Mike Reeves came close to realising his ambition of looking like a batsman but became increasingly distracted by the spirited knock at the other end by number eleven Mr Vermaak. Not noted for this prowess with the blade, Corne had biffed his way to 19 not out and presented to the public an opportunity for The MAD high score record at that position and also a shot at the tenth wicket partnership record.

 

Neither happened of course, Mike (45) fucked up and the dreams were put to bed.

 

A fine day out with an opposition that dates back to the early years. Symbolism, sentimentality and no little cheer for this beautifully flawed game of cricket.

 

 

‘Class of 03’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Lemmings

Played at Brasenose College, 7 July 2019

 

Lemmings won the toss and elected to bat

Lemmings won by 96 runs

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  n/a

 

 

19 / 491

 

 

 

 

 

35 over match

 

 

 

Team

Lemmings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

M. Baker

c Newman-Robson b Howarth

71

 

8

1

2-136

2

S.C. Taylor MBE †

c Newman-Robson b Timms

2

 

-

-

1-3

3

S. Wood *

not out

103

 

12

-

-

4

R. Smith

b Williams

28

 

3

-

3-205

5

P. Williams

c Reeves b Timms

6

 

1

-

4-220

6

G. Hukins

not out

5

 

1

-

-

7

P. Baker

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

T. Baker

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

J. Baker

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

NB2, W4, LB3, B2

11

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 4 wickets, 35 overs)

226

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

Econ

 

1

Timms

5

1

26

2

5.20

 

2

Newman-Robson

7

0

29

0

4.14

 

3

Rundle

7

0

40

0

5.71

 

4

Reeves

6

1

35

0

5.83

 

5

Vermaak

4

0

36

0

9.00

 

6

Howarth

3

0

21

1

7.00

 

7

Williams

3

0

34

1

11.33

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

D. Emerson

c Smith b J. Baker

14

(15)

3

-

1-22

2

I. Howarth

b P. Baker

10

(17)

1

-

2-26

3

D. Shorten

st Taylor b T. Baker

24

(32)

3

1

5-54

4

C. T. J. Williams

run out

1

(8)

-

-

3-27

5

B. E. L. Walker

b Hukins

3

(17)

-

-

4-54

6

R. P. Turner †

c and b T. Baker

0

(5)

-

-

6-54

7

M. K. Reeves

b Smith

45

(46)

7

-

10-131

8

G. J. Timms *

b Hukins

2

(5)

-

-

7-61

9

J. Newman-Robson

c Taylor b T. Baker

1

(3)

-

-

8-70

10

M. S. Rundle

c P. Baker b Williams

4

(12)

-

-

9-84

11

C. J. Vermaak

not out

19

(20)

1

1

-

 

Extras

W4, LB1, B3

8

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(all out, 30 overs)

131

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

Econ

 

1

J. Baker

5

1

11

1

2.20

 

2

P. Baker

6

1

18

1

3.00

 

3

Hukins

5

3

8

2

1.60

 

4

T. Baker

7

0

45

3

6.43

 

5

Williams

4

0

25

1

6.25

 

6

Smith

3

0

19

1

6.33

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  M. K. Reeves

Champagne Moment:  C. J. Vermaak’s huge six over cow

Buffet Award:  C. T. J. Williams’ sausage casserole and puff mash

MAD Moment:  I. Howarth’s botched run out attempt from less than 10 yards

 

 

Opposition:  V024 / 16

Ground:  G040 / 75

Captain:  C022 / 83

Match No:  35 / 175