Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

“Gross Underperformance Exposed to the World

 

 

Match:  18 / 473

Lost by 96 runs

 

 

Team

 

Total

Moreton CC

272 - 4

A. Darley  2 - 43,  J. Newman  2 - 76

 

FFTMCC

176

C. Williams  43,  R. Hadfield  23

 

 

 

 

Two years ago, Paddy Mellor was tasked with organising an open top bus in the centre of Oxford to parade the Friendly Cup. It would be the club’s crowning glory to finally win some silverware, put themselves on the map of pub team immortality and drink out on the tale long after their knees and backs gave way. It didn’t quite work out like that of course, with a couple of Oxford Down’s finest rocking up to fuel a winter of discontent.

 

 

 

Friendly Cup Final 2018 – Far from the MCC  v  Moreton CC

 

 

With the team growing old as one and the dads amongst our number failing to get their kids out on the park, the doddery old sods who represent Team MAD are maybe inching closer to the last chance saloon. Hold the tabloids though, because after a rousing victory over neighbours Isis in a game neither deserved to win, the team with a forever misspelled acronym are back in the showpiece final. So, get that bus on standby, Paddy!

 

With Horspath CC (and Max Eason in particular) willing to help out and stage the match (and man the bar), the occasion was thrust into the modern world and YouTube live streaming. Now, wherever you were and whatever regretful alternative you had signed up for on September 2nd, you could dial into your mobile and watch the action.

 

 

 

 

A game of two halves seemed like three halves, seeing the first half took in about twenty drinks breaks, searches for balls amongst advertising hoardings and hedgerows and interruptions to watch WWII planes fly over the hardened, sun-drenched pitch. It was bloody hot as well, and by the end of forty overs it felt like a whole game had played out or at least for the poor fuckers in the field chasing leather most the afternoon.

 

That first half contained the sublime opening burst from Mr Darley, full of vim and vigour from

 a night on the piss, yorking Squires for a blob and having Howat (not to be confused with Howarth) caught for 1. At this point in time the game was there for grabs with Moreton wobbling on 17-2 in the seventh over. Newman also bowled some overs.

 

Thereafter (the second half) the MacDonald Bros consisting of Tom (114) and Will (104) invested in a sublime 215 run partnership that offered up nothing in the way of obvious chances. Throughout this gargantuan lump of batting showmanship, Captain Turner ran through his roll call of bowlers to little avail. Reeves 0-11, Emerson 0-23, Shorten 0-31, Hoskins 0-43, Pearson 0-17 and Howarth (not to be confused with Howat) 0-19.

 

 

 

Will and Tom, tons up.

 

 

This record breaking effort finally ended when they fell to consecutive deliveries off the returning Newman (8-0-76-2), both pumping balls down the throat of Howarth (not to be confused with Howat) at long off. That set the stage for a brutal late cameo from their dad, Chris (35* off 11 balls), who tried manfully to dislodge roofing tiles on the pavilion, knock birds out of trees or skewer children with cricket balls in the adjoining playground.

 

Thankfully there were only 40 overs. Unthankfully there was the small notion of chasing down 272-4 for victory. Best not to dwell on the bloody hopeless and concentrate instead on a wonderful tea prepared by Mrs Reeves (whose credit was naturally taken up by her husband), and if that wasn’t distracting enough, there was always the bar. There is always a bar and if there isn’t, there is always an off licence.

 

It was at this point that the clear oasis of blue above the ground became firstly spotted with cloud and then blanket thick, so perfect for swing bowling then.

 

Onto the third half of the game and fresh from a five week break in the middle of the cricket season, Pearson (4) would soon me mumbling to himself about a self-imposed exile and then mumbling to everybody else about why the hell he did it. We don’t know, James – newly married life? Early retirement? Mush of the brain?

 

 

 

Hadfield looked good before he decided to run.

 

 

Parity in the match was then briefly restored by Williams (43) and Hadfield (23) working through the gears and playing some decent cricket, although the latter’s run out to a direct hit can perhaps pinpoint the demise of The MAD run chase. It was at this point the world was on fire to tweets, texts and messaging from people glued to the game unfolding on YouTube, so we take a break from this narrative to read up on some of this internet chatter….

 


On 2 Sep 2018, at 15:54, Ben Walker <bennyboy> wrote:

 

Can I just point out that this match is being shown live on YouTube? Search for Horspath CC!

 

On 2 Sep 2018, at 17:55, Martin westmoreland <themoo_man> wrote:

 

Just got back fro.m Plymouth. I’m watching on YouTube👍. How many overs are we playing.m?  Moo

Sent from my iPhone

 

On 2 Sep 2018, at 18:04, Matthew Bullock <theoxforddrinker> wrote:

 

Will be 40 overs unless they’ve had rain

Sent from my iPhone

 

On 2 Sep 2018, at 18:09, Andy Darley <darls> wrote:

 

We’re 104 for 3 off 20 overs chasing 272. They had 2 centurions and a guy hit 35 off 11 balls at the end of their inns

Spam and Emerson at the crease

Sent from my iPhone

 

On 2 Sep 2018, at 18:13, Martin westmoreland <themoo_man> wrote:

Spam was at the cease 

Sent from my iPhone

 

On 2 Sep 2018, at 18:20, Andy Darley <darls> wrote:

He spooned it to a girl at sq leg. 

6 from Lego! Plenty of guns in the bag!!!! Oh

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

With Howarth’s (21) dismissal (not to be confused with Howat) to yet another full toss, Emerson’s (15) YouTube castling and Shorten’s (11) guide to catching practice, thereon lay the outstretched arms of victory so many miles away.

 

 

On 2 Sep 2018, at 18:25, Matthew Bullock <theoxforddrinker> wrote:

Hope we’ve got a very big, very full bag

Oh, Turners out

Sent from my iPhone

 

On 2 Sep 2018, at 18:27, Martin westmoreland <themoo_man> wrote:

Captains innings needed 

Sent from my iPhone

 

 

 

If a picture could tell….

 

 

With the MacDonald Clan taking a further 6 wickets to add to their 97.66537% runs off the bat, the pub team with no pub would run out of options in the 34th over. Turner had gone for 5, Reeves 13, Darley 12 and Hoskins and Newman* didn’t bother the scorers, although the guy* who went for more runs in a spell of bowling than anyone since Tetsworth 2009 at least could claim to be undefeated. Unlike the FFTMCC.

 

 

 

Andrew’s time in the nets practicing the on drive are paying dividends.

 

 

 

Hoskins pulls viciously on his way to a sublime nought.

 

 

A game played out in good spirit throughout, yet another final lost, unless you happened from Moreton, which we most certainly aren’t. Congratulations to them, commiserations to us. Henceforth a virtual silverware cupboard bare and another winter of discontent and wondering what if….

 

The caveat? A bar still open.

 

Long live the bar.

 

 

 

 

 

‘Not Howat’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Moreton CC

Played at Horspath CC, 2 September 2018

 

Moreton CC won the toss and elected to bat

Moreton CC won by 96 runs

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  none

 

 

18 / 473

 

 

 

 

 

20 over match

 

 

 

Team

Moreton CC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

Details to follow….

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 4 wickets, 40 overs)

272

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

Econ

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(all out, 34.4 overs)

176

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

Econ

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  A. Darley

Champagne Moment:  A. Darley opening wicket yorker

Buffet Award:  J. Newman-Robson  &  I. Howarth’s delightful cream eclairs

MAD Moment:  J. D. Hoskins’ drop for D. Shorten’s volley for four

 

 

Opposition:  V0 / 00

Ground:  G0 / 00

Captain:  C0 / 00

Match No:  00 / 000