Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

“Two Options

 

 

Match:  18 / 452

Won by 12 runs

 

 

Team

 

Total

FFTMCC

118 - 8

L. Jenkins  30*,  M. Reeves  18

 

Wootton & Boars Hill CC

106 - 6

I. Howarth  3 - 18

 

 

 

 

Last year produced a memorable match in this shorter form of the game, with James Pearson’s last ball miscue helping The MAD to chase down their total in the hastening gloom. It was an encounter enriched by the contentious subject of enforced declarations (on reaching 30), a contemporary ruling in village circles that helps to stamp out the batting egos and give everybody a game. It worked that evening and it certainly worked here too.

 

A rescheduled affair saw some wonderful evening sunshine light up what is regarded as one of the prettiest grounds in Oxfordshire. Sat on the lap of a hill encircled by trees and pastoral farming, Wootton has panoramic views that stretch for miles, all the way to Didcot and its remaining towers, horrible concrete behemoths given a stay of execution because of suicidal dynamite experts.

 

 

 

Didcot in the background, awaiting an airstrike at some point.

 

 

Winning the toss, Skipper Shorten had no hesitation in batting first and sending out his “destructive hitters” to edge several balls through the slips (Emerson 15) and hot others straight to fielders (Williams 5, Howarth 6). In an unaccustomed role in batting higher than eleven, Roberts (10) pleased the eye, but with Shorten (4) joining the ranks of the really-should-do-better, 54-5 off 11 ovs looked distinctly underwhelming.

 

Thankfully Reeves (18) hit a quick cameo with his shagged knees but hopes then listed towards Pearl Harbour with the sinking of Rundle (5) and Turner (6). Time enough for debutant Luke Thomas Jenkins (30*) to rescue matters (in harness with Carter 4*) utilising a mix of audacious drives and reverse sweeps no less. A total of 118-8 was considered a roughly par total by eleven men who could boast no local knowledge or expertise in considering what was a par total.

 

The booze interval centred on a team photo stood in front of the Wootton pavilion with the “destructive hitters” effecting an audible backdrop of moaning and shot-envy of Jenkins’ reverse sweeps. It was a shame the camera was given to Wiskin Jr who I imagine by his own admission wasn’t the star of his art class in his teens.

 

 

 

Two games on the trot we witness cultured batting from Mr Rundle.

 

 

On resumption, Williams stood on the boundary with his hands in his pockets as the home side smashed the ball everywhere. Roberts (2-0-16-1) copped some flak but saw Shorten (2-0-8-0) defy rumours Midge be replaced by a blind dog, in catching a ridiculous one-handed champagne stunner off N Kingy (4). Jenkins toiled as did anyone who bowled at the bats of Glover and Kane (both 32 retired). So, game more or less done and dusted then? Well, not quite, so please continue with this fascinating* (* - delete as appropriate) read by choosing from the two options outlined below…

 

 

Option 1 – The Completely Plausible and Utterly Obvious Conclusion to the Match

 

…Dave Shorten tried galvanising his men, but as the balls continued to rain down in surrounding housing estates and disappear into hedgrows, he eventually gave up like everybody else and joined Williams still stood on the boundary with his hands in his pockets. Game over, The MAD got trounced and Damien Wiskin danced on our T20 grave. The atmosphere was muted post-match as the team mulled defeat with votes cast as to who had done slightly more than Williams. Jenkins scooped the MOTM because he looked like a batsman, he was new to the team and we didn’t want to dissuade him from ever playing again.

 

Shorten was then fired as skipper. The End.

 

 

 

Oh.

 

 

Option 2 – The Completely Implausible and Utterly Incredulous Conclusion to the Match

 

…with the retirement of W&BH’s sublime Glover and Kane, it exposed the home team’s middle order, albeit a rather healthy middle order with only about 40 or so runs to get. The innocuous trundling of Rundle (4-0-17-0) is often written about, particularly by this pen, and here he did what he always does, get abused by looking like a badly serviced car wreck throwing down some “hittable shite.” But of course, it never is just “hittable shite” as his figures proved once again.

 

After getting tonked for ten in his first over, Howarth (4-0-18-3) then produced a spell of skiddy toe-crushers that were his forte back when Wham! Topped the UK charts. A model of divine inconsistency, knocking back D Wiskin’s (9) timber allows Ian the luxury of living off this wicket for the remainder of the season, and you may well get to hear about this dismissal for the rest of the season.

 

With wickets tumbling and runs evaporating, you now got to witness a MAD Skipper prowling the field with a sense of positivity not seen since he hit that ton back in 1914. “We’re in this, guys” barked Shorten, “we can fucking win this!”

 

 

 

Russ (right) to Jenkins: “So, you’re a fucking ringer then, right? Sorted.”

 

 

After declaring himself injured a few weeks ago, Reeves (4-0-11-1) has got to stand in slips most games and pretend nobody knows what he’s doing. David Emerson began this trait a few years ago, concocting some fantastical undiagnosed injury to save having to do any exercise in the field, then batting or bowling with a zest of 16-year-old amped up Lucozade. Mike’s spell from the top end was exacting as Howarth’s, being almost impossible to get under and twat. He then went back to field at first slip.

 

It all left debutant Luke Jenkins (4-0-32-1) to forget about the mauling of Glover and Kane, and stop Wootton hitting nineteen off the final over. This he did with aplomb and there was nothing that Webb (4*) or Crowe (6*) or the retired-waiting-to-bat-again Glover and Kane could do about it. Jolly gosh, The MAD had won!

 

The atmosphere was one of euphoric exaltation post-match as the team pored over a victory claimed from the jaws of a totally inevitable defeat. An absurd sporting turnaround, this was as diametrically opposed to the Isis game a fortnight ago as it was possible to imagine. With votes cast as to who had done slightly more than Williams, Jenkins scooped MOTM because he looked like a batsman, he was new to the team and we didn’t want to dissuade him from ever playing again.

 

Shorten was now emboldened as skipper. The End.

 

 

 

Shorten (left) wearing the very best of his wardrobe.

 

 

‘Threodore For’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Wootton & Boars Hill CC

Played at Wootton & Boars Hill CC, 6 June 2018

 

Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat

Far from the MCC won by 12 runs

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  Luke Thomas Jenkins (147)

 

 

18 / 452

 

 

 

 

 

20 over match

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

D. Emerson

c Glover b Collins

15

(20)

1

-

1-17

2

C. T. J. Williams

c Gellher b Parker

5

(9)

1

-

2-30

3

I. Howarth

c Kane b Wiskin

6

(11)

-

-

3-38

4

C. D. Roberts

b Crowe

10

(13)

1

-

5-54

5

D. Shorten *

b Crowe

4

(5)

1

-

4-43

6

M. K. Reeves

b Wiskin

18

(18)

2

-

6-75

7

M. S. Rundle

b Glover

5

(11)

-

-

7-77

8

R. P. Turner

b Gellher

6

(8)

1

-

8-92

9

L. T. Jenkins

not out

30

(20)

5

-

-

10

G. Carter †

not out

4

(5)

-

-

-

11

J. C. W. Hotson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

W7, LB1, B7

15

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 8 wickets, 20 overs)

118

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

Econ

 

1

Parker

4

0

13

1

3.25

 

2

Collins

3

0

15

1

5.00

 

3

Wiskin

4

0

17

2

4.25

 

4

Crowe

2

0

12

2

6.00

 

5

Glover

2

0

12

1

6.00

 

6

Gellher

3

0

24

1

8.00

 

7

Mulliner

2

0

17

0

8.50

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Wootton & Boars Hill CC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

C. Kane †

retired

32

 

5

-

-

2

N. Kingy

c Shorten b Roberts

4

 

1

-

1-15

3

M. Glover

retired

32

 

5

-

-

4

W. Gellher

b Howarth

6

 

1

-

2-73

5

M. Mulliner

b Howarth

3

 

-

-

4-89

6

D. Wiskin

b Howarth

9

 

2

-

3-87

7

D. Parker

c Williams b Jenkins

5

 

1

-

6-94

8

N. Collins *

b Reeves

1

 

-

-

5-90

9

B. Webb

not out

4

 

-

-

-

10

T. Crowe

not out

6

 

1

-

-

11

M. Wiskin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

W1, LB1, B2

4

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 6 wickets, 20 overs)

106

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

Econ

 

1

Roberts

2

0

16

1

8.00

 

2

Shorten

2

0

8

0

4.00

 

3

Jenkins

4

0

32

1

8.00

 

4

Rundle

4

0

17

0

4.25

 

5

Howarth

4

1

18

3

4.50

 

6

Reeves

4

0

11

1

2.75

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  L. T. Jenkins

Champagne Moment:  D. Shorten’s one-handed catch at mid on

Buffet Award:  L. T. Jenkins  &  C. D. Roberts’ carnivorous BBQ (with salad sides)

MAD Moment:  n/a

 

 

Opposition:  V039 / 18

Ground:  G017 / 14

Captain:  C016 / 33

Match No:  20 / 113