Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

“Tour Party Announced after Humping and Dog Stealing

 

 

Match:  18 / 466

Lost by 8 wkts

 

 

Team

 

Total

FFTMCC

148 - 4

D. Shorten  32*,  I. Howarth  30*

 

Iffley Village CC

149 - 2

C. Roberts  1 - 21

 

 

 

 

After the first rains in several months washed out the weekend, Friday’s T20 slogfest against the chaps hailing from Iffley Village would be the final action before the Tour. A final chance for players to showcase their skills and hopefully cement a place in the Touring XI to Felixstowe, or at least the Touring X as ‘I’ pulled out citing something better to do on the Thursday but would join people for drinks in the evening after everyone had gone to bed. Or something like that.

 

 

Image result for felixstowe poster

 

 

Friday T20s always have that dreamy feel good factor about them, relaxing back into one of Brasenose’s striped deckchairs feeling smug about another shitty week out the way so one can focus on getting pissed and hanging out with your mates. It almost becomes a competition in itself to see who can get dropped for the evening so they don’t even have to bother pretending they can play cricket and get on with the matter at hand (drinking).

 

You can start the drinking earlier if you so desire, just head over to the White House pub and get tucked in. If that was your inclination on Friday you would have found half a dozen similarly minded individuals all watching aghast as David Emerson firstly offered to buy a Staffordshire Bull Terrier pup, then stealing one and shoving it in someone’s kitbag as he didn’t have a spare two grand kicking about. Shame on him.

 

 

 

How the might-have-been have fallen further.

 

 

Back at Brasenose Dave Shorten was busy losing the toss or winning it, but whatever the outcome The MAD were batting first with Williams and Cartwright (3*) adding 32 before the latter went down with his umpteenth injury of the season. Either Joe writes cheques his body can’t cash or he’s mindful of a decent end of season average.

 

Williams (28) was caught a few balls later blaming Howarth for telling him his total, whereas Reeves (14) and Turner (11) simply didn’t know where their stumps were.

 

As Shorten biffed a few before retiring on 32*, the drunks had now decamped at the ground to start the heckling, Emerson locating a megaphone and narrating the action both on and off the field. Their numbers were swelled with the welcome appearance of Mr Ainsworth, here to shake his head in the direction of Howarth (30*) as he selfishly run out Jenkins for 6. To be fair to Ian, the time it took his brain to register what was going on out there, the journey to the other end of the wicket would have been perilous in the extreme, so just stand your ground and sacrifice the lamb. A decent MAD total of 148-4 would be aided by the energetic running of Ben Walker (7*), helping to add 22 in the final two overs.

 

 

 

Walker slashes one away whilst staring at two people on the towpath.

 

 

In reply, The Village began in measured fashion as Roberts (4-0-21-1) had Conway caught in the covers and also affected the run out of Law for 12. From that point onwards (24-2 off 4.4 overs) it was pretty shit really, with Ross (30 ret), Morton (32 ret) and Davis (38 ret) all enjoying themselves as a liberal helping of toilet was flung down by the bowlers. Jenkins (4-0-30-0) and Vermaak (4-0-29-0) weren’t so bad, but neither did they offer the hope that something wonderful might happen.

 

Sensing oncoming obliteration, Shorten ambled for a ball before going down under sniper’s fire. Medics fought to revive him, and he was carried from the field as Howarth (3-0-33-0) got pasted at both ends and Reeves (1.2-0-24-0) discovered a menu to everyone’s liking. During these fateful overs of bludgeoning the holes in The MAD field were filled by addled spectators Emerson and Timms, the latter catching a beauty over the boundary (six), palming another for six and not bothering with one routine after a sprint of 100 metres.

 

It was all over after 17.2 overs with the caveat being 2.4 overs could be reinvested at the pub thereafter. Ending where the evening started, attention now turned to Tour where The MAD party would be finally announced.

 

 

 

The FFTMCC 2018 Tour squad in full:

 

 

Related image

 

 

Bullock, M  (btsm, bwl, wckt, likely bitten)

* Carter, G  (boring btsm, wckt)

Darley, A  (bwl, slogger, non-captain)

Hoskins, J D  (bwl, gambler)

Hotson, J  (btsm, wckt, non-sleeper)

Howarth, I  (btsm, bwl, likely sick, moaner)

Newman-Robson, J  (bwl, non-captain)

Reeves, M K  (btsm, bwl, likely injured)

Roberts, C D  (tall bwl, optimist)

Rundle, M S  (bwl, slogger, likely injured)

* Timms, G J  (bwl, not skipper)

Turner, R P  (full English, pizza, curry, kebab and chips)

Williams , C T J  (btsm, bwl, likely in court)

 

 

 

* Partial Tour due to lack of commitment, however partial being infinitely more welcome than “no”

 

 

 

‘Saga Holidays’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Iffley Village CC

Played at Brasenose College, 27 July 2018

 

Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat

Iffley Village CC won by 8 wkts

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  none

 

 

18 / 466

 

 

 

 

 

20 over match

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

C. T. J. Williams

c Myer b Ross

28

(22)

5

-

1-33

2

J. A. Cartwright

retired hurt

3

(9)

-

-

-

3

M. K. Reeves

b Troth

14

(12)

2

-

2-59

4

D. Shorten *

retired

32

(25)

6

-

-

5

R. P. Turner

b Myer

11

(18)

2

-

3-99

6

I. Howarth

not out

30

(16)

5

-

-

7

L. T. Jenkins

run out

6

(11)

-

-

4-126

8

B. E. L. Walker

not out

7

(7)

-

-

-

9

C. D. Roberts

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

C. J. Vermaak

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

J. C. W. Hotson †

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

W13, LB4

17

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 4 wickets, 20 overs)

148

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

Econ

 

1

Ellis

4

0

30

0

7.50

 

2

Harding

4

1

27

0

6.75

 

3

Ross

4

0

19

1

4.75

 

4

Troth

3

0

31

1

10.33

 

5

Smith

3

0

21

0

7.00

 

6

Myer

2

0

15

1

7.50

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note:  J. A. Cartwright retired hurt at 32-0 (5.0 overs),  D. Shorten retired at 110-3 (15.0 overs)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Iffley Village CC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

M. Law

run out (Williams/Roberts)

12

 

1

-

2-24

2

S. Conway

c Walker b Roberts

7

 

1

-

1-14

3

O. Ross

retired

30

 

4

-

-

4

T. Morton

retired

32

 

6

-

-

5

B. Davis *

retired

38

 

5

1

-

6

A. Harding

not out

18

 

3

-

-

7

P. Smith

not out

7

 

-

1

-

8

T. Ellis

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

A. Troth

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

B. Smith

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

A. Myer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

W2, LB2, B1

5

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 2 wickets, 17.2 overs)

149

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

Econ

 

1

Roberts

4

0

21

1

5.25

 

2

Jenkins

4

0

30

0

7.50

 

3

Vermaak

4

0

29

0

7.25

 

4

Shorten

1

0

9

0

9.00

 

5

Howarth

3

0

33

0

11.00

 

6

Reeves

1.2

0

24

0

18.00

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  D. Shorten

Champagne Moment:  B. E. L. Walker back peddling catch

Buffet Award:  M. K. Reeves’ pre-Tour fish n’ chips (extra mushy peas)

MAD Moment:  D. Emerson’s thieving and use of a megaphone (commentary)

 

 

Opposition:  V094 / 03

Ground:  G040 / 71

Captain:  C016 / 40

Match No:  20 / 121