Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

“I Was There

 

 

Match:  15 / 361

Won by 46 runs

 

 

Team

 

Total

FFTMCC

180 - 5

L. Ainsworth  40*,  I. Howarth  36*

 

Bodleian

134 - 7

P. Mellor  2 - 15

 

 

 

 

Dry, warm and sunny, the three necessary ingredients for an enjoyable end of week T20 slogathon – and on the back of consuming a diet of big-hitting whackothons on TV, it was Skipper Shorten’s intentions that the public were served up an early July tonkathon to end of smashothons.

 

Securing the toss against the ultra-friendly Bodleian, Dave had his team of cavemen assembled in a tight huddle before declaring “I want 200 today, I want a pile of runs and I want everyone to go out and express themselves. No fear of failure! Loads of tonking. We will balance out the bashing by opening the bakery later.”

 

 

 

 

Thus it was that Jake Hotson confronted his first ball demons as batsman number one, and by doing so, would get to see ball number two. In fact, he saw a good few more as well, receiving warm applause in again showing decent form with an enterprising 16 off 12 balls.

 

With Mr. Hotson's demise, Howarth became the unsuspecting partner of a similarly unsuspecting Ainsworth [to be found batting at number two]. Ian and Lee hadn't expected to bat you see, but then you are told to always expect the unexpected, particular with Mr. Shorten at the helm. Seizing on an opportunity to top up their averages, thus they duly did, but with a controlled and measured aggression, complemented by Ian’s oxygen requirements to keep up with Lee between the wickets. There was no disrespect with the batting here, merely enjoyable time to be had at the crease, as Howarth (36* off 26) and Ainsworth (40* off 35) retired in consecutive overs.

 

 

 

D. Emerson tonks one directly above the scoreboard.

 

 

The double retirement saw the Skipper (24) take up the ball-blasting cudgel, availing himself of a leg side boundary as saliva ran from his rabid jaw. Reeves (6) and Emerson (5) would fail, but the whapothon continued with Mr. P. Mellor (18 off 20) making use of Ian’s oxygen bottle, as Mr. Westmoreland (16* off 9) ran Paddy ragged. Martin, granted you are a man of lithe physique these days, but please be advised, lapping a batsman of slower inertia gains you no extra points – though that defined, it certainly gains you laughter from the boundary. So please continue where applicable.

 

With the Bodleian sticking pluckily to their mandate of picking the ball out of the hedgerows, The Mad total juddered to a 20 over mark of 180-5. So not 200, but not far off either. Time for a beer and a regroup.

 

 

 

P. A. S. Mellor: X-treme tonking.

 

 

Mr. Westmoreland has been frozen on a club haul of 99 wickets for something close to the invention of cricket, but Mr. Shorten kept faith with his blueprint and ordered Martin (3-0-19-0) a bowl. He didn't do bad either, with the yipometer only once flickering as a ball came dangerously close to a ninth bounce on reaching the batsman. At the other end, Mr. Bullock (3-0-28-0) took a few red kites out of their flight paths, as his aerial assortment first bamboozled B. Ramanathan (30*) and then found their way to the top of his menu.

 

A Bodleian wicket finally arrived as beatnik T. P. W. Smith (4-0-17-1) sent down an unplayable can of Stella. He threw a few others too, also with inebriated aplomb – once again underlining how much his drinking and bowling have come on as one.

 

Mr. Hoskins’ (4-0-29-0) first delivery was so bad, he declared as such before the umpire had even recorded it as an uber-wide [very funny mind]. James then ran through his repertoire of varying pace and guile, leaving the hapless Mr. Reeves, debuting behind the stumps, floundering about like a puppy in a bathtub. Good on you for trying, Mike – but maybe stick to your other day jobs, huh?

 

And then it happened.

 

 

 

Hotson – umpiring with the ‘magic’ hand.

 

 

Following a handy and customary crashothon from Mr. J. Shaw (31*) to elevate Bodleian spirits, Mr. Shorten threw the ball to his part-time flan throwers, Messrs Hotson and Mellor. Jake has in fact registered a MAD 5-for once upon a time, a feat achieved during WWI, and he was okay here too, only pausing between overs to… take a sure fire candidate for Champagne Moment of the Season

 

…taking off from his trance-like position at square point, Jake swooped / tumbled / fell in uneven stages to the turf, his right hand outstretched, before plucking the ball out the air some six inches off the ground [Mr. Neely caught for 15]. AMAZING!!! One of those glorious cricketing moments you remember fondly in years to come, and one which can rightly be categorised by those who bore witness to it under the heading ‘I Was There’. Jake was subsequently engulfed by ecstatic teammates wondering just what the f______ Telford was going on….

 

Following that demonstration of superhuman fielding par excellence, everything else paled into insignificance to be honest, but that would be to look past the mesmeric cream tarts of Mr. Mellor (3-0-15-2). Another splendid virtuoso performance nonetheless.

 

 

 

 

The Bodleian would eventually finish on 134-7 – a decent enough effort considering their target, but will anyone really remember this MAD win? Will we remember all these runs? A new MAD high T20 team total? All these boundaries? Maybe, but probably doubtful. But if you were lucky enough to be here on this summer evening in July, as I was, then you would most certainly remember that catch.

 

 

‘I. N. Awe’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Bodleian

Played at Brasenose College, 3 July 2015

 

Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat

Far from the MCC won by 41 runs

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  none

 

 

15 / 361

 

 

 

 

 

20 over match

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

J. C. W. Hotson

b Ackland

16

(12)

3

-

1-34

2

L. G. Ainsworth

retired

40

(35)

5

-

-

3

I. Howarth

retired

36

(26)

5

-

-

4

D. Shorten *

b Philipson

24

(11)

5

-

4-148

5

M. K. Reeves †

b Triggs

6

(9)

-

-

2-120

6

D. Emerson

b Philipson

5

(4)

1

-

3-142

7

P. A. S. Mellor

run out

18

(20)

-

-

5-180

8

M. T. Westmoreland

not out

16

(9)

2

-

-

9

T. P. W. Smith

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

J. D. Hoskins

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

M. Bullock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

NB6, W10, LB2, B1

19

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 5 wickets, 20 overs)

180

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Shaw

4

0

16

0

 

2

Ramanathan

4

0

36

0

 

3

Ackland

4

0

36

1

 

4

Triggs

3

0

36

1

 

5

Philipson

2

0

17

2

 

6

Neely

3

0

36

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note:  L. G. Ainsworth retired at 92-1 (11.0);  I. Howarth retired on 102-1 (12.0)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Bodleian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

M. D. J. Neely †

c Hotson b Mellor

15

 

1

-

2-89

2

B. Ramanathan

retired

30

 

5

-

-

3

M. N. Webb

b Smith

8

 

1

-

1-49

4

J. A. Shaw

retired

31

 

2

1

-

5

T. Philipson

b Mellor

1

 

-

-

3-94

6

G. E. D. Jones

c Bullock b Hotson

5

 

1

-

5-106

7

R. Triggs

b Emerson

0

 

-

-

4-94

8

S. G. Ackland *

run out (Shorten/Mellor)

6

 

-

-

6-111

9

D. F. Busby

run out (Emerson/Hoskins)

6

 

-

-

7-134

10

D. Shaw

not out

12

 

1

-

-

11

A. R. Paton

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

NB6, W8, LB4, B2

20

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 7 wickets, 20 overs)

134

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Westmoreland

3

0

19

0

 

2

Bullock

3

0

28

0

 

3

Smith

4

0

17

1

 

4

Hoskins

4

0

29

0

 

5

Mellor

3

0

13

2

 

6

Emerson

1

0

2

1

 

7

Hotson

2

0

21

1

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  J. C. W. Hotson

Champagne Moment:  J. C. W. Hotson’s amazing one-handed catch at point

Buffet Award:  J. C. W. Hotson’s extreme vegetarian buffet (with random sides)

 

 

Opposition:  V023 / 20

Ground:  G040 / 45

Captain:  C016 / 07