Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

“MAD 5-a-side Football Disaster”

 

 

 

In the fall of 2009 and into February the following year, the Far from the MCC embarrassed themselves by agreeing to participate in a hyper-competitive, 5-a-side footballing league at Tilsley Park. One can only assume that alcohol was the main contributor behind their taking up this ill-fated sporting endeavour, though chief architect, Mr D. Shorten, remains defiant to this day. “For fuck sake, guys – it was supposed to be for 30 something’s… washed up has-beens… not an open invite for bloody teenagers bigger than ourselves to kick us all over Abingdon….”

 

 

2009fiveASide1

 

Vodafone have sacked their sponsors for ever agreeing to this lot….

 

 

During those excruciatingly painful and bitterly cold months, The MAD team never won a game. In fact, they never came close to winning a game. That said, they were winning at half-time in one match, against a team as fucking shit as themselves…. For those with a decidedly morbid fascination the final League Standings of the SOLL Super League are detailed below….

 

 

FINAL Thursday SOLL Super League 2009-2010 Standings

 

 

 

P

 

W

D

L

GF

GA

GD

P

Clin Farm

9

8

1

0

46

7

39

25

The A Team

9

8

0

1

60

21

39

24

Real Machines

9

7

0

2

49

16

33

21

Total Not Football

9

6

0

3

37

24

13

18

Waitrose

9

5

1

3

49

17

32

16

Spartak Mustard

9

4

0

5

31

24

7

12

OBUCCFC

9

3

0

6

40

29

11

9

F.T.W

9

2

0

7

27

65

-38

6

Isotopes

9

1

0

8

19

57

-38

3

Far from the MCC

9

0

0

9

7

105

-98

0

 

 

 

 

The Player Manager, Mr T. P. W. Smith, is in the coat.

 

 

The lowlights of this now notorious competition, of which there were many, included a 15-0 bumming to kickstart proceedings against “Total Not Football”, a 17-1 whupping against a Murdoch led “A-Team” and a desultory finale whereby where The MAD endured back-to-back dickings in shipping 25 goals whilst firing none in return. One other sobering fact is that out of the 7 goals amassed by our lads during the whole tournament, 5 of them were scored in one game against the equally pitiful “Isotopes” (whom The MAD contrived to lose 8-5 against when leading at half-time).

 

An alphabetical list of those willing to sacrifice their dignity is detailed below….

 

 

Player

 

Goals

Andrew Darley

-

Dan Edwards

-

Dave Emerson

1

James Hoskins

-

Jake Hotson

-

Ian Howarth

2

Ian Leggate

-

Dave Shorten

1

Thornton Smith

-

Martin Westmoreland

2

Wilson

1

 

 

 

There were no heroes out on that artificial turf, but there were 11 heroes who bothered turning up during those foreboding winter months. Positives? Well, yes actually, hats off to Dave for improving all the lad’s fitness prior to the cricket season, and also attuning their mental side for the inevitable, soul searching defeats absorbed at cricket during the summer….

 

 

 

Celebrating the end. Finally….

 

 

‘Silky Skills’