Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

“BBC Live Text Commentary
As Boars Hill are Roasted

 

 

Match:  10 / 193

Won by 9 wkts

 

 

Team

 

Total

Wootton & Boars Hill CC

145 - 8

M. Westmoreland  2 - 11,  J. Hoskins  2 - 14

 

FFTMCC

146 - 1

I. Howarth  62*,  N. Hebbes  54*

 

 

 

 

1330: Well then. A very warm welcome to all of our Radio 5 listeners. This is the big one – especially for Martin Westmoreland in particular. After years of enduring wretched fortunes in the Boars Hill arena, the skipper will try and kick-start the Far from the MCC’s season after their tonking a week earlier.

 

Mad_sunis OUT

 

1342: We seem to have typical Oxford weather conditions, with recent bulletins suggesting a warm and dry sunny picture with the odd hit-and-miss biblical flooding.

 

1355: The FFTMCC win the toss, and in a bit of a surprise have decided to chase a target? Let me know you thoughts.

 

 

 

James “Fattori” Pearson limbers up before the game.

 

 

Mad_606

 

From adepub on 606: “Good move for The MAD to bowl first for two reasons: 1, they never have a clue about what kind of total to set and 2, I’m always right.”

 

From Notts_mincer on 606: “I have far better things to do in my social calendar than lowering my cricketing horizons to listen to this sub-standard babble. Did you know I used to play to extremely high standards in Louth?”

 

Mad_wicket  Mad_wicket

 

1416: WICKETS update – Wootton 5 for 2. An excellent start to the game for the team known as The MAD. Emerson and Pearson bowling beautifully in tandem. Both of them rocking back the stumps.

 

1432: It seems D. Mills and D. Godfrey have weathered the opening bowling attack and are now filling their boots. Pearson (6-2-14-1) drops short and is smeared for a four, whilst Emerson (7-3-11-1) looks to be tired and is driven to the long off boundary. Wootton have now passed the fifty mark. Looks like Martin is turning to his second string of medium pacers, D. Shorten and S. Dobner, both of them making their first appearances of the season.

 

Mad_606

 

From Essex_Kim on 606: “Having been stuck in Tenerife with my husband for what seems like an eternity, getting him out from under my feet to play cricket today is a godsend.”

 

 

 

“Wonky – you’re going to try and play cricket sober today? Ha ha ha.”

 

 

Mad_wicket

 

1438: WICKET – Mills b Dobner 37 – Wootton 68 for 3. After a truly abysmal first over from Dobner, he cleans Mills up with a beauty.

 

Mad_AlisonMitchell

 

BBC Sport's Alison Mitchell on Twitter: "Hilarious – one of The MAD players is chundering in the outfield. Looks like it’s Ben Mander, and it looks like it’s bile – a greenish-yellow fluid now pooling in the gully area.”

 

Mad_wicket

 

1448: WICKET – Ashton b Hoskins 5. Excellent bowling change by the skipper, utilising his wily non-spinning spinner, J. Hoskins. A mesmeric apple soufflé befuddling Ashton and clipping off.

 

Mad_wicket  Mad_wicket  Mad_wicket

 

1514: A clatter of WICKETS – Wootton slumping to 82 for 7 after Hoskins (8-1-14-2) has Jay (4) plumb lbw, and the skipper himself (3-0-11-2) rattles the timber of Godfrey (23) and Abbott (1). The home team really are in disarray and in desperate need of a partnership of sorts. Looks like another change in the bowling here – Mad stalwart Ben Mander coming into the attack.

 

 

 

J. Hoskins discards the contents of his bread basket.

 

 

Mad_AlisonMitchell

 

BBC Sport's Alison Mitchell on Twitter: "Hilarious – the Wootton scorer has registered B. Mander in the scorebook as ‘The Guy Who Was Sick In The Field’. Haha – now that is funny. He obviously didn’t hear the bowler’s name.”

 

1540: Wootton lower order batsmen, J. Rogers and young S. Morton, doing well here. They’ve taken the score past a hundred and don’t seem to have encountered any of the demons the earlier batsman reported in the wicket. Maybe the early batsman were crap? Or maybe the bowling was good? No, I think the batsmen were crap.

 

1523: The bowling attack really has gone flat. M. Reeves (3-0-16-0) couldn’t puncture a rice-paper bag, and Mander (2-0-12-0) looks like he’s all at sea (forgive the pun).

 

Mad_AlisonMitchell

 

BBC Sport's Alison Mitchell on Twitter: "Hilarious – a clutch of locals on the boundary reckon they’ve spotted Lord Lucan! I can’t say I’ve seen him, but I did see a ghostly apparition earlier… spooky.”

 

Mad_mobile

 

Ant from Sydney, text message: “Heh, that fackin Lucan ain’t in Oxford – he’s jamming with my new band, Zedgoat, in the garage!”

 

1548: D. Shorten (6-0-33-0) is back into the attack, and immediately makes an impression by throwing 5 wides down the leg-side. That really was poor, he looks like a guy who has invested much of his spare time in mountaineering rather than cricket.

 

 

 

Joy (left) is forced to listen Dave’s moaning about his bowling and umpiring display.

 

 

Mad_606

 

From Lil_Dennis on 606: “Cricket sucks. Stupid boring game for stupid people, especially now my fella ain’t captain no more.”

 

Mad_wicket

 

1618: WICKET – Rogers run out 31 – Wootton 145 for 8. Finally, with the last ball of the innings, keeper Howarth removes the bails after Rogers goes charging down the track for some unknown reason.

 

1630: The players have all left the field for the tea interval. Time for the kids and spectators to amuse themselves with tennis balls and plastic bats.

 

Mad_mobile

 

Mel from Stanford in the Vale, text message: “Thank god my hubby won the toss, or my Daniel would be sporting a black eye.”

 

Mad_606

 

From adepub on 606: “The MAD didn’t want to be chasing more than 150. It’s all psychological. Believe me, I know, and I’m always right.”

 

1649:  D. Edwards and N. Hebbes look to be opening the Far from the MCC account. The pitch still looks in good shape, and with the dark clouds having shifted over to the chav inhabited slum that is Didcot to the south, we look to be in for an uninterrupted session of cricket.

 

 

 

The Didcot power station end.

 

 

12th over – FFTMCC 37-0 (TARGET 146). Well, after seeing the opening burst of Abbot and Godfrey off, it looks like The MAD batsmen are going to indulge themselves here. Edwards looks full of confidence with some elegant cuts through the gully region, and Hebbes looks stoically determined to prove he’s an opening bat.

 

Mad_mobile

 

Darley from Witney, by text: “Let me guess, Emerson is slaughtered by now. He’s done his bowling and he’ll be on his 16th can of Strongbow waiting to bat at number eleven? Haha. Call him a twat from me. Toodle pip.”

 

Mad_umpireOUT

 

1724: WICKET – Edwards lbw Wiskin 14. Shock, horror! Just when we were all relaxing into our cups of coffee and cakes, it appears Edwards has been triggered by his team mate, Shorten. Looked a little high, and maybe a little leg-side, and Dan did get a huge stride forward in – but whatever the argument, he’s gone!

 

Mad_606

 

From Clare_AndTheKids on 606: “Who on earth gave my hubby out lbw? Do they not realise he’ll be cobbing all week?”

 

1735: A confident start by I. Howarth here, smoking a few boundaries to take The MAD past 50. However, he does look rather shaky against veteran pieman, M. Wiskin. An amusing sub-plot unfolding here, as Wiskin has had Howarth wiping cream and chocolate off his face on several other occasions in the past.

 

22nd over – FFTMCC 109-1 (TARGET 146). Hebbes and Howarth have now guided The MAD past the century mark, and it’s all starting to look slightly processional as Wootton give a bowl to anyone who can bowl in the hope of making a breakthrough.

 

Mad_mobile

 

Thorn from pitch_Side, by text: “In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. I know this is irrelevant, but I thought I’d recite it for the thousandth time. Anyone got a spare can of Stella?”

 

 

 

I. Howarth (62*) recorded The MAD’s first fifty of the season.

 

 

Mad_50up

 

24th over – FFTMCC 121-1 (TARGET 146). A push for a couple on the off-side, and Howarth brings up his fifty. A fine effort recorded off 36 balls

 

Mad_50up  Mad_100up

 

29th over – FFTMCC 141-1 (TARGET 146). Huge applause. Hebbes brings up the 100 partnership with a pulled six off J. Werrell. Take that. It also brings the erratic opener his first half-century of the season. A much more serene innings that one, containing 85 balls.

 

 

 

N. Hebbes (54*) pulls J. Werrell for a rare six and his own fifty.

 

 

Mad_AlisonMitchell

 

BBC Sport's Alison Mitchell on Twitter: "Hilarious – it looks like Howarth has bowed to pressure from his teammates and has sent for the Goose as The MAD canter home.”

 

30th over – FFTMCC 141-1 (TARGET 146). Howarth has just played back a maiden over using the Mongoose bat. He’s either protecting his average or taking the piss.

 

Mad_606

 

From adepub on 606: “Dickhead.”

 

31st  over – FFTMCC 146-1 (TARGET 146). Wootton have really struggled to bowl on this pitch today, and Hebbes finally loses patience as The MAD crawl towards the finishing line by cracking a boundary through square off Werrell. That’s it folks – the Far from the MCC have registered their first win of the season and triumphed by 9 wickets!

 

 

 

 

1843: With a first win of the 2010 season under his belt, Skipper Westmoreland can take even more pleasure from the fact he wasn’t asked to bat today either.

 

1858: Signing off. The commentary team have now been invited out on the piss in central Oxford.

 

 

‘The BBC’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Wootton & Boars Hill CC

Played at Wootton & Boars Hill, 25 April 2010

 

Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to field

Far from the MCC won by 9 wkts

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  none

 

 

10 / 193

 

 

 

 

 

40 over match

 

 

 

Team

Wootton & Boars Hill CC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

D. Mills

b Dobner

37

 

5

-

3-68

2

D. Wiskin

b Emerson

0

 

-

-

1-1

3

T. Fisher

b Pearson

0

 

-

-

2-5

4

D. Godfrey

b Westmoreland

23

 

4

-

5-77

5

S. Fishton

b Hoskins

5

 

1

-

4-76

6

O. Abbott

b Westmoreland

1

 

-

-

7-82

7

Jay

lbw b Hoskins

4

 

1

-

6-82

8

J. Rogers

run out (Howarth)

31

 

4

-

8-145

9

S. Morton

not out

17

 

1

-

-

10

J. Werrell

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

M. Wiskin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(NB1, W20, LB2, B4)

27

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 8 wickets, 40 overs)

145

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Emerson

7

3

11

1

 

2

Pearson

6

2

14

1

 

3

Shorten

6

0

33

0

 

4

Dobner

5

1

27

1

 

5

Hoskins

8

1

14

2

 

6

Westmoreland

3

0

11

2

 

7

Mander

2

0

12

0

 

8

Reeves

3

0

16

0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

D. M. Edwards

lbw b Wiskin

14

(29)

2

-

1-37

2

N. J. Hebbes

not out

54

(98)

8

1

-

3

I. Howarth +

not out

62

(61)

12

-

-

4

M. T. Westmoreland *

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

D. Shorten

 

 

 

 

 

 

6

M. K. Reeves

 

 

 

 

 

 

7

S. L. P. Dobner

 

 

 

 

 

 

8

B. J. Mander

 

 

 

 

 

 

9

J. D. Hoskins

 

 

 

 

 

 

10

D. Emerson

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

J. W. Pearson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(NB4, W5, B7)

16

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 1 wicket, 31 overs)

146

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Abbott

4

1

7

0

 

2

Godfrey

4

0

13

0

 

3

Jay

4

0

26

0

 

4

M. Wiskin

7

2

32

1

 

5

Ashton

3

0

24

0

 

6

Morton

3

1

7

0

 

7

Fisher

1

0

8

0

 

8

Rogers

3

2

6

0

 

9

Werrell

2

0

16

0

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  I. Howarth

Champagne Moment:  N. J. Hebbes’ six to reach his fifty

Buffet Award:  B. J. Mander’s sickly doughnuts

 

 

Opposition:  V039 / 06

Ground:  G017 / 05

Captain:  C011 / 22

 

 

 

 

 

Match Fines