Far from the MCC

~ Est. in 1998 ~

 

 

“Neo Shines as OUP are Caught Out”

 

 

Match:  06 / 130

Won by 93 runs

 

 

Team

 

Total

FFTMCC

212 - 7

G. Littlechild  73,  N. Hebbes  28

 

Oxford University Press

119 - 9

D. Shorten  3 - 16,  S. Dobner  3 - 22

 

 

 

 

“Brilliant!”

“Amazing!”

“Astounding!”

“Phenomenal!”

“Unreal!”

“Truly awesome, dude!”

 

Those are just some of the words that were directed at The Mad’s rusting N. Hebbes after he snaffled a beauty at first / second slip midway through the OUP reply. It was followed up by a team bundle in which the Titanick was well and truly scuppered below deck and sent to the ocean floor as celebrations and fireworks heralded his feat. But we’re getting slightly ahead of ourselves here, so let’s rewind the day….

 

 

oup2006d

 

The July of 2006 was just baked in sunshine.

 

Another glorious day in a wonderful month for weather saw Jordan Hill swamped by travelling No-Mad players and spectators alike. A quick head-count would reveal several members of the Edwards clan, numerous members of Barrow Boy clan, a wash of  Westmoreland’s, a pikey, a stonehead, a Skipper’s bit on the side, a scouser, a bird who liked the scouser, an old couple nobody knew [but who seemed friendly enough if you poured them some coffee], and a few tennis players who flirted from court to boundary line. It was a real crowd for once, and the nomadic support cheered when Captain I. Howarth won the toss and elected to bat first.

 

D. Edwards and the in-form M. Westmoreland would front The Mad innings, and despite the pitch displaying alarming signs of bounce early on, they proceeded to a partnership of 47 before Moo (16) was caught on the drive. Edwards (28), perhaps disappointingly for his family enclosure, fell soon after when dragging one on.

 

 

oup2006ak

 

Hands up, if you think the skipper’s batting order is shit.

 

There would now follow a passage of play whereby England keeper G. Jones (nickname G. Littlechild or Neo for short) and the happy go-lucky N. Hebbes, would lay the foundation for a slog-fest later in the innings. Mixing stout defence with cavalier aggression, they added a sublime 94, before Hebbes (28) inexplicably gave himself out hit wicket after the OUP noticed a bail had been dislodged. A fine display of sporting conduct, and a lesson to us all [dickhead]. Nick’s dismissal was quickly followed by that of an out-of-sorts A. Cavanagh (1), and the eventual demise of the mercurial G. Littlechild (73), finally shirking the nervous 20’s that had blighted his season thus far.

 

It was all now left for the late order cowboy show to roll into town. “Hurrah” cried the crowd in Twenty20 mode as music blared from the non-existent speakers. Howarth hoiked and cowed his way to a merry 27, Parkinson mooed an agricultural 10, whilst Dobner and A. Mann protected their averages with robust scores of 1* and 0* respectively. All this late fun had the FFTMCC finish on a heartening 212 for 7.

 

 

oup2006ad

 

“Any point me knocking this in? Batting number ten and all that….”

 

Tea, and not a bad spread at all, with the egg flan of a particularly appeal. Half-time entertainment would be provided by the Cob Brothers (Stevie D and Stevie P), who exchanged the usual verbal sparring at each other’s apparent inability to avoid cobbing. There was no defining winner in this duel, but Mincer [P] would later lay a marker down in the field whilst bowling….

 

With the sun slowly disappearing behind the clouds the OUP innings began their reply. S. Parkinson (8-4-19-1) bowled with his customary nip and zeal, his only blight being a second spell cob for crap down leg side. At the other end, antipodean A. Mann, had his namesake [and OUP Skipper, R. Mann] scratching around before presenting a casual caught and bowled. I say casual, as that is the manner in which Antony pulled it out the air. One-handed, and casual and all that. It just slapped in the centre of that huge left mitt of his. And as Ant would tell you, it was “no big deal”.

 

 

oup2006g

 

Postcard perfect – the view towards the Jordan Hill pavilion.

 

The Paper Boys had made 37 before the next stunning catch occurred. This time it was far less casual and the type that sticks in your head long after the game has been banished from the memory. S. Dobner (8-0-22-3), bowling with rediscovered enthusiasm, found the edge of Bowell’s bat and saw the 882 feet 8 inch R. M. S. Titanick somehow turn starboard and pouch the ball one-handed at first slip! Pure reflexes, and quite how anyone with a gross tonnage of 46,328 tons and a top speed of 23 knots could react so quickly was staggering. The horns subsequently sounded on the vessel and ticker tape rained down on the party. Great stuff, Mr. Hebbes – a true candidate for the end of season voting. The champagne would later be smashed against his hull to mark the event.

 

Debutant D. Shorten (7-1-16-3) would now demonstrate his impressive accuracy bowling seam up, and it was all far too much for a below-par OUP as they slumped to 65 for 8. Unfortunately, this would signal a tepid last hour or so, whereby the home team, unable to overhaul The Mad total, would simply try and bat out the overs to preserve some dignity [and why the hell not?] This they accomplished despite the twirlings of J. Hoskins (7-1-24-0) and the apple and custard pies of D. Edwards (2-0-15-0), who both failed to induce the obdurate Halls and Mills into any rash slogging. 40 overs complete, and with the crowd now safely tucked up in bed, the OUP left the field under a star-filled sky with 119 to their name. The FFTMCC had registered their fifth consecutive win by a resounding 93 runs and one wonders just how good they have actually become?

 

I would say we are casually brilliant, dude.

 

 

oup2006z

 

Sun, booze and cricket – it don’t get much better on a Sunday.

 

Quote of the Day: “Fannies!!” - S. Parkinson exclaiming a degree of dissatisfaction in his own bowling after aiming 10 feet wide of leg stump at the tailenders.

 

 

‘Slogger’

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

Statto Scorecards

 

 

 

Far from the MCC versus Oxford University Press

Played at Jordan Hill, 30 July 2006

 

Far from the MCC won the toss and elected to bat

Far from the MCC won by 93 runs

 

Far from the MCC debuts:  Dave Shorten (96)

 

 

06 / 130

 

 

 

 

 

40 over match

 

 

 

Team

Far from the MCC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

D. M. Edwards

b Miles

28

(54)

6

-

2-60

2

M. T. Westmoreland

c Bowmaker b Walsh

16

(28)

3

-

1-47

3

G. S. Littlechild +

b Miles

73

(79)

10

-

4-181

4

N. J. Hebbes

hit wicket b Mann

28

(36)

3

-

3-154

5

A. Cavanagh

c Thompson b Miles

1

(8)

-

-

5-182

6

I. Howarth *

c Manley b Morgan

27

(19)

3

-

6-209

7

S. B. Parkinson

run out

10

(14)

-

-

7-211

8

S. L. Dobner

not out

1

(2)

-

-

-

9

A. G. Mann

not out

0

(0)

-

-

-

10

D. Shorten

 

 

 

 

 

 

11

J. D. Hoskins

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extras

(NB2, W9, LB3, B14)

28

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 7 wickets, 40 overs)

212

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Mills

8

2

29

0

 

2

Morgan

8

1

47

1

 

3

Walsh

8

1

40

1

 

4

Miles

8

1

25

3

 

5

Manley

1.1

0

10

0

 

6

Mann

6.5

0

44

1

 

 

 

 

Team

Oxford University Press

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Batsman

How Out

Total

Balls

4s

6s

FOW

1

Bowmaker

b Parkinson

7

 

1

-

1-15

2

R. Mann *

c and b Mann

3

 

-

-

2-15

3

Bowell

c Hebbes b Dobner

6

 

1

-

3-37

4

Miles

b Shorten

8

 

1

-

4-37

5

J. Walsh

b Shorten

2

 

-

-

5-40

6

J. Thompson

b Dobner

8

 

1

-

7-64

7

M. Walsh

b Dobner

12

 

2

-

6-53

8

I. Hall

b Shorten

28

 

2

-

9-119

9

Morgan

run out (Littlechild/Dobner)

0

 

-

-

8-65

10

Mills

not out

25

 

4

-

-

11

D. Manley

not out

0

 

-

-

-

 

Extras

(W14, LB2, B4)

20

 

 

 

 

 

TOTAL

(for 9 wickets, 40 overs)

119

 

 

 

 

 

 

#

 

Bowler

Overs

Maidens

Runs

Wkts

 

1

Mann

8

3

16

1

 

2

Parkinson

8

4

19

1

 

3

Shorten

7

1

16

3

 

4

Dobner

8

0

22

3

 

5

Hoskins

7

1

24

0

 

6

Edwards

2

0

15

0

 

 

 

 

 

MOTM:  D. Shorten

Champagne Moment:  N. Hebbes’ memorable slip-catch

Buffet Award:  D. Edwards’ holier than holy custard pies

                           

 

Opposition:  V019 / 06

Ground:  G013 / 06

Captain:  C007 / 16